The mirror.

The ultrasound results brought me to my knees.

I was defeated. 

 

‘Seriously’?

Children are born missing limbs?

I kept thinking ‘enough is enough’ but, in fact, it was all about me for the first time. 

She had nothing to do with it. 

 

I felt alone and inexperienced. 

It occurred to me, that I did not know how to do this for myself. 

I only knew how to do it for her.

 

I didn’t have to. 

 

She was there for me as she always has been.

The big sister led the shy sibling by the hand. 

She taught me how to cope and she taught me personal strength.

Her dying child taught me thankfulness.

She never put her reality ahead of my heartbreak. 

She enabled me to love my child as she loved hers. 

 

My child also sealed my soul. 

We became a team again – the ‘infamous duo’. 

We were both of Mothers of beautiful girls.

 

The unspoken difference was...my child would live.